With the choice of gestational surrogacy, a surrogate mother extends her support and provides a gift of parenthood to another family. While the decision to become a surrogate in California can be fruitful because of the clear-cut requirements and the availability of a wide range of surrogacy agencies, a surrogate mother could anticipate a lot of fears and develop several doubts while undergoing the surrogacy process even though she has much experience in the past delivering her biological child. These fears could be related to various factors such as health impacts, childbirth, emotional attachment, society, etc.
Common fears faced by surrogate and the approach to overcome them:
1. IVF and Embryo Transfer
Fear of IVF process and side effects:
A surrogate mother may never have undergone an In-vitro fertilization procedure in the past due to her normalcy in the conceiving process. Approaching the IVF process for the first time could alarm her in many ways such as:
- Is the process painful?
- Does the IVF preparation procedure and the medicines used collapse my hormone level?
- Will there be any impacts of IVF, stopping natural pregnancy in the future?
Fear of abortion or selective reduction or the fear of carrying multiple babies:
During fertilization of the intended parents’ egg and sperm, the development of the embryo could surprise everyone creating a chance of producing more than one baby. A surrogate mother may be alarmed if she has to suddenly prepare her mind to carry twins or triplets. She can get a fear if she had to undergo a C-section or if she could healthily deliver all of them, etc.
On the contrary, sometimes IVF clinics may suggest the intended parents and the surrogate mother continue growing just one fetus and eliminate others for a healthy delivery or the intended parents may decide to have only one baby. In this case, a surrogate may be depressed as the fetus is deliberately eradicated.
Another case of fear in a surrogate mother could be the situation to abort the fetus if it is beyond a life-saving situation or a miscarriage.
How to overcome these fears?
Being a surrogate, the owner of “Made in the USA Surrogacy” has personally experienced every step of the surrogacy process and the IVF is no exception, which is why, we connect you to the best IVF clinic in the area, that has certified doctors and nurses who will suggest only the procedure that is safe and suitable for you and you can clarify all your doubts beforehand.
We also have psychological experts with us, who will help you whenever you have emotional stress. We suggest you report any kind of mental disturbances with them then and there to face the pregnancy with ease.
Also, in the legal contract, we will outline the terms regarding your consent to carrying multiple fetuses should a situation arise.
2. Health, Pregnancy and Childbirth:
Fear of medications and shots:
Some women may be afraid of having injections or feel repulsive having medications due to the fear of pain or allergic reactions, etc. Nevertheless, they don’t have a choice but to religiously follow per doctor’s advice to deliver a healthy baby. Because of this, they may undergo stress every time.
Fear of health complications:
Even though surrogate mothers love to carry a child, they may be afraid of facing the pregnancy complications such as acid reflux, morning sickness, food restrictions, nausea, etc. Also, gestational diabetes is a common side effect of surrogacy. This will create panic in surrogate moms.
Tokophobia:
You may wonder why a surrogate could get tokophobia (fear of pregnancy and childbirth) when she had already undergone a pregnancy phase in the past. Carrying someone else’ child or on someone else’ behalf is different than taking the privilege of carrying her own. Because a surrogate mother will have so many questions in her mind whether she could satisfy the intended parents, if she could deliver a healthy baby, if she could go as per the contract, etc. She may also be afraid of a pre-mature baby.
Steps to overcome these fears:
- Create a rapport with the intended parents and keep in touch with them often so that you can feel that you are carrying a friend’s child instead of a third party. This may ease your anxiety. At Made in the USA Surrogacy agency, we have excellent communication arrangements for you to contact the intended parents and doctors.
- Always listen to your doctor’s advice on what to eat, what not to eat. Be transparent about your existing allergic conditions, so that doctors can give you medications based on that.
- Make sure you have someone either a friend or a family (a spouse) to lean on during difficult times.
3. Social factors:
Fear of lack of family support and social stereotypes:
A surrogate may be worried if her spouse or her children would accept her surrogacy decision if they would treat her fairly while she is carrying someone else’ child. Sometimes she might be worried that she would be sexually inactive during pregnancy and would disappoint her husband.
Unlike California or the entire United States, there are several countries in which still surrogacy is considered an immoral way of giving birth to a child; we could say that still there is a lack of complete knowledge. So, a surrogate mother may be afraid of facing society or the family circle.
Fear of not having the child after giving birth:
A surrogate mother may get an emotional attachment to the baby because of her journey with the baby for nine months even though she is not biologically related. So, at the end of the contract, after delivery, she may be depressed about giving away the child to the intended parents.
Ways to overcome these fears:
- At “Made in the USA Surrogacy”, our care doesn’t stop once you deliver, we extend our support even beyond. So, feel free to express your post-partum depression with our counselling team.
4. Lack of financial support and enough compensation:
As one of the requirements of surrogacy is that a surrogate mother should not be availing any state or federal finance benefits, a surrogate mother may be worried if she could handle the family as well as pregnancy well with the current financial situation. Also, if she has approached the correct agency which compensates her well.
Willing to become a surrogate in California? Then we “Made in the USA Surrogacy” are the best you could find with the best compensation rates. We are very transparent about all the expenses that come along the way and how much you will get in total. We understand that this pandemic situation has hit many of us very hard. So, we also offer special funding as part of the surrogacy compensation.